When it rains it pours! Beth Pippin

When it rains it pours! SO my grand daughter will be 3 years old on the 6th! She is so darn cute and it is hard to believe Annalysa will be three and all my kids are in their teenage years...i am getting old.

It has been a HARD two weeks. I felt the full effect of my divorce last week and I feel like at least half of me is missing. I have a huge hole where he used to be and sometimes i wonder if i will make it out of bed. BUT i don't have a choice.

I have to get up and face the world and all its good and bad.

Right now Derek's family is refusing to come to Annalysa's party because I will be there. It sucks she wont have the ones who love her around her because they are ashamed of their actions. or at least that is what I think. Any man who would physically touch a woman should be ashamed. Not real sure why Derrek's sister isn't coming it isn't like I care if she is there or not! I told Katy I would be glad to stay at home since I can see her any day and that way the others could go. Let Annalysa have a great birthday she wont know if I am there and she deserves a happy day. SO i had that to deal with

THEN.....Kiki got sick....she called her dad because his days are a little more flexible. Funny thing how nobody called me to say she was sick...Derek called the B%$ch of a sister in law. HELLO i am their mother why would you call her. Just another way to make me look bad. I doubt he did it for that purpose but still pissed me off!

THEN i get an email from my aunt. My grandmother isn't doing well at all. My grandmother has always been this vibrant incredible woman. And i KNOW i have not been out there enough AT ALL...she is really the last link to my mother I have and sometimes that is hard to face but I know i truly will regret not taking the time to go out there. A million times i have said "this weekend" and something would always come up,

SO with all that...Derek trying to figure things out...spinal taps....kids....grandkids....work.....being fat and anobody will ever want to date me....things are SOOOO hard....