Time

Time heals all wounds, give me some time, time is of the essence, take your time....well time is a bunch of KA KA....I don't want time i want the pain of betrayal to go away RIGHT NOW....how is it that somthing that happened 13 years ago can hurt...how do you get that out of your head....now the present.....how do you deal with the man you have loved for 23 years decides to date an old frined from high school.How do you move on...TIME I dont want time...but i guess i am suppose to feel the pain, i am suppose to feel the rejection when i asked for a 2nd chance he said TIME.....
BUT today i feel strong...i am rebulding my relationship with God and i know what kind of lifestyle i WILL live and which one i WONT.... it may not be easy to see him move on but I feel ok today...that will have to work. I have amazing kids to make me smile. I have an incredible room mate who keeps me focused and my new frineds at Divorce Care who let me just cry when i need to. ( just to clear up ON HUGE RUMOR...my room mate is nothing more then a room mate....some people seem to think we are "partners' sorry Julie your not my type)
I have truly learned who my frineds are and I may not have a ton of frineds just a couple will work...so time does not heal wounds, giving some one time will not work but prayer will. As i pray each night i have come to realize the shift in my prayers. I prayed for me and Derek for so long so hard that we would be able to make this work. Now I pray for God to give me the strenght to follow HIS path not the one I want. I pray for wisdom and Strenght for Derek that he will follow what God has in store for him.