TGIF.....a week of accountablilty....freedom!

What a long week....and so ready for this weekend. I am thankful for so many things. My kids, for one. I wonder if I will ever see Lane' between working and trainer stuff and driving she has to sleep sometime girl. AND you have to put gas in your car when the gage tells you to! :) McKenzie what a social butterfly you are and you know everyone loves you...but decide WHO and what is important and hint...dont ever have Lane's friend pretend to be me....doesn't work out for you to well. Austin has grown so much this year it is nuts. I am so sorry you had to see somebody you loved and respected go nuts the other day and I pray you NEVER take that as acceptable behavior. Katy is spreading her wings just wish you were not so afraid. if you fall you will always be able to get back up! Derek i know your not a kid but WOW what a week. I know you have been through alto i know that the ordeal Wednesday was nuts. We both know he did not come over there to talk to me, i was attacked from the get go. Never is it acceptable to put your hands on a woman and i hope that Austin doesn't see somebody he loved and respected do that and think it is ok. You know I did not raise my voice and you know I did not touch him. YES I flicked my smoke at him but ONLY after I was pushed into my car. through all of this they have ALL talked about me traded stories so much that they dont know what is true and what is not. They all believe I started that when all I did was come out to "talk" he NEVER wanted to talk.....he wanted to scream and yell and PUSH...UHHH NO. Not ONCE have they held themselves accountable...i guess she forgot when she told you that talking about me in front of my kids was a bad idea...how the same story she told you and i heard from other people was the exact same story i heard from Kiki and Katy...but NOT once did I get an apology...not once did the rest of your family jump on her. NOPE.....Cyber trash.....I guess she doesnt think i see what she wrights...I said nothing more to MY daughter then what she said AGAIN accountability. I have NEVER been fake if I say it on here i will say it to your face. i have the same great friends i have had since i was 12 they will tell you I have not changed and i do not put on a front. and i am REAL. I DO NOT pretend to be something I am not. I am real so if they want me to stop..... they need to. I was nice enough to let kids back around them but they will NOT be around bad examples. i.e. liars and men who choose to put their hands on woman. I wonder if he would have done that had his boys been out there. BUT it is ok to do in front of Austin. I should post a picture the TWO huge bruises i have on my arm and the one on my back and he is worried about a pair of pants..Derek I told you the other day I would stop on the FB but of course she didn't but this was the last time trash needs to be in the trash can where it belongs. I will tell you this and you can pass it along and this is the only one I have ever asked you to pass along (if you read this you may not) if he EVER touches me again. It will be one of the last things outside of jail he will do! if ever needed the police incident report is in my desk at work.
So this weekend will be stress free! short of getting the kids ready for school I will say as they get older it does get easier getting ready for the first day of school. It is sad to think that is a short 9 months my Lane' will be done I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS YEAR! Take it all in and it will be one of the best!
When my friend told me to blog to get things off my chest I thought it was so freaking stupid. It is nice to know that I can vent here and don't have to worry about the bs of fb. Maybe I will cancel my thing...they are not worth it! That disgusting behavior will not kill my joy because I have the world at my feet and it is a great new feeling and I get to move forward. BEST thing THEY ARE NOT MY FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOO HOOOOOO best feeling ever.......... I AM FREE...

Sometimes we need to be goofy!

Last week was a long week! Friday night Austin stayed the night with me he was really ready to play with Beasley. We ran by the farmers market picked up some potatoes and then to the house. After playing with Beasley for a while ate watched a movie and thought we were going to bed but I needed Julie to redo my eyelashes. Next thing it is midnight and Julie practicing her make up artist stuff on Austin. She gave him one heck of a black eye. We had so much fun. I forget sometimes it is OK to just let your hair down and be silly/goofy. Really something i need to work on.

Divorced

Allot of people were not aware that Derek and I divorced. I am not real sure why we kept it quiet for so long but as the word is getting out we are finding that most people are just shocked. I will try to clear up as many questions as I can with out getting into all of this to deeply. First and foremost we have both done the best we can at keep our kids happy and as settled as possible. We are so blessed to have great kids and they have been amazing.

Derek did file for divorce. It was not unexpected or surprising. Our divorce was final 05/05/09 happy cinco de mayo! We did not have attorneys and we did not argue over anything. We have joint custody of our children and they stay in the house Derek and I shuffle around them. I stay there when he works or wants to go out and he stays there the rest of the time. We would have much rathered moved around them then to have them be shuffled or forced to make a choice so far it has worked out well.

I live with a friend Julie and I am blessed to have her in my life, our meeting was a total act of God putting us both in the same place at the same time. She was also going through a divorce and needed a room mate and it just worked out. Derek will be selling the house and is moving into one a few miles from me and Julie which will make it even better for our children.

Now to clear up any and all rumors that we have both heard!

Neither Derek or I had an affair. Honestly neither of us has the time for that. We were both very loyal and faithful during our 19 years of marriage..

Neither of us is gay! PLEASE anyone who knows us should never have to ask. Several people have questioned on if I moved in with a female because I "crossed over" UH no.....and I promise that is not even a concern with Derek! I think after having 5 kids we would never have to address that issue.

Neither of us EVER asked people to choose who they wanted to be friends with or who they needed to be loyal to. Some of our friends have chosen to do that but that was their choice not ours. As far as family goes. Mine is pretty much cool. Rebecca even spent the 4th of July with Derek and his family while I just chilled out. His on the other hand has chosen to rake me over the coals and has cost them their relationship with him and that is sad. His sister and sister in law have been a constent source of pain for him and seem to think it is ok to talk to my children about me even going as far as to tell them I had an affair. Maybe before casting stones they should look deep into themselves and leave me alone.

I really cant tell you why the divorce happened execpt that we never really spent much time together the last couple of years and just grew apart. We still remain very close frineds and talk several times a day. I do hope that clairfys as much as possible. I apologize for those of you that didnt know and found out by accident. We have learned who our frineds are and what family really means. We are both also blessed to have great kids and a handful of friends that did stay loyal..............................Beth